Pastor's Wives are a Curious Breed

We all have expectations of the *Pastor's Wife*. Those expectations vary from church to church and person to person. Some churches expect the Pastor's Wife to be a *Jill of all trades*. She is expected to fill the gap for any and all ministries that are lacking volunteers or leadership. She should definitely be able to play the piano, sing, organize the nursery, lead women's meetings, lead the ladies Bible studies, teach Sunday School, teach Junior Church, have a perfectly kept house so people can drop in anytime and her children never misbehave. Whoa!!! Okay, maybe things are not that bad and the expectations are not that high in some churches. However, I have spoken with enough Pastor's Wives to think that the *Ideal Pastor's Wife* should definitely be able to check a good number off of that list...if she is worth her salt.

Pulpit Search Committe: So, what does your wife do?

Pastoral Candidate: She serves God first, her husband second and her family third. If she has any time beyond that her spiritual gifts are x, y and z and she attempts to use them for the building up of the body of Christ.

Pulpit Search Committee: Does she play the piano?

Pastoral Candidate: No.

Pulpit Search Committee: Does she sing?

Pastoral Candidate: No. Not solos. She is a congregational singer.

Pulpit Committee: So....what does she do again?

Being a Pastor's Wife is a priviledge. Being married to a man called to be a Pastor is a calling for his wife as well. Where he goes, I go. For those who think being married to a Pastor is the same as being married to a plumber/engineer/teacher/professor/dentist/whatever else, it is simply not true. Our lives are bound up in church life in a way that is different from the members. Our husbands are called to serve God, to shepherd a particular flock, to care for them spiritually and he is held accountable to God for them.

As a Pastor's Wife, I am a helpmate to my husband. I don't send him off in the morning with a kiss and welcome him home for dinner with no contact inbetween. The church is our life. It is not a 9 to 5 endeavor. It does not end when he comes home for dinner. It is ongoing and very much a 24/7 experience. Who we befriend, which people we invite to dinner, how many times we entertain in a month, what our children wear or do...all of these decisions are made in light of him being a Pastor.

As Christians, we are all called to live Godly lives that glorify and honour Him. We have a *Christian Code* as it were and none of us are exempt from it...it is called the Bible. However, there is that subtle, underlying code imposed on those families which include a Pastor. Sometimes it is hard to live up to the code, other times we want to throw it to the wind...most of the time we pray that God in His mercy will give us the grace to serve and honour Him in the way we live, inspite of ourselves.

We are sinners. We are all sinners. You are a sinner too.

Remember your Pastoral family and be an encouragement to them. One of the things that I love the most is when we are at Prayer Meeting and people not only pray for my husband, as the Pastor, but they actually pray for the rest of the family too. We are a package deal...pray for the Pastor's Wife and his children. We are in need of prayer support in a very real way.