Disorder in the American Courts

Another Pastor's Wife shared these on a message board and I thought they were hilarious....hope you do too!!

Actual comments between Attorneys and Witnesses, made in American court.

Att.: Are you sexually active?
Wit.: No, I just lie there.

Att.: What is your date of birth?
Wit.: July 8th.
Att.: What year?
Wit.: Every year.

Att.: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
Wit.: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Att.: And why did that upset you?
Wit.: My name is Susan.

Att.: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
Wit.: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

Att.: Can you describe the individual?
Wit.: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Att.: Was this a male or a female?

Att.: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Wit.: No.
Att.: Did you check for blood pressure?
Wit.: No.
Att.: Did you check for breathing?
Wit.: No.
Att.: So then, it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Wit.: No.
Att.: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
Wit.: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Att.: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
Wit.: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.